David Markowitz does not work for, consult, own shares in or receive funding from any company or organisation that would benefit from this article, and has disclosed no relevant affiliations beyond their academic appointment. Nearly one-fourth of young adults are looking for love through dating websites or apps. This relatively new form of courtship can give you access to a large pool of potential partners. It also presents a unique set of challenges. In a paper , my colleague Jeff Hancock and I wondered: How often do people who use dating apps lie? What sort of things are they prone to lie about? Our studies are some of the first to address these questions, but others have also examined deception in online dating. Past research focused largely on the dating profile. Studies have found, for example, that men tend to overstate their height and lie about their occupation, while women understate their weight and tend to have less accurate photos than their counterparts. But profiles are only one aspect of the online dating process.
Love Essentially: Why lying about your age in online dating is silly
Do you remember when dating would start with “My friend likes you …” and end with a cheese-and-onion-flavoured kiss? Or when, at work, a casual “No, no — let me go to the printer for you” would eventually lead to an invitation for an after-work sauv blanc? Or when loved-up or bored friends would try to fix you up with their other single mates over a bowl of adequate chilli con carne? Meeting someone doesn’t really happen like that any more.
It can — but it’s rare. Credit: Getty Images.
Online dating may seem alien if you haven’t ventured there before, but (see it as a great time-saving litmus test) and don’t lie about your age.
Like so many other online daters before him, Green has felt the sting of being kittenfished. A kittenfisher is an ace at presenting themselves unrealistically on their dating profile, whether by using heavily edited or old-as-hell pics, or by lying about their age or lifestyle to curry favor with their matches. What are singles most likely to lie about? Men are prone to exaggerate their height , while women often fudge details about their weight, according to Dan Slater, author of Love in the Time of Algorithms: What Technology Does to Meeting and Mating.
Lying about your age is a popular choice, too. Years ago, yoga instructor and lifestyle podcaster Ali Washburn had an especially weird experience with an age-defiant kittenfisher. Therein lies the problem with kittenfishing: You might lock up that first date, but by selling a decidedly off-brand version of yourself online, you run the risk of putting people off. Your dad may have won your mom over by telling some slight lies about his GPA and career goals.
But now, our carefully curated online alter egos speak so loudly for us, our real selves are bound to fall short when we actually meet in person, said Ryan Howes , a psychologist in Pasadena, California.
The Big Lies People Tell In Online Dating
Mystery dates Photo: Getty Images. Ten years ago, when I turned 30 I freaked out. So, I ran away to Hollywood for one last ditch attempt at movie stardom. This was immediately after I shared my Hollywood dreams with him. During my two years in California, I was forever
The documentary “Catfish” chronicled photographer Nev Schulman’s journey to discover who was really behind the long-distance relationship he’d been having with a beautiful year-old singer named Megan. Ultimately, Schulman finds that the woman he’d communicated with via hundreds of texts, Facebook posts and phone conversations was actually invented by a middle-aged mom living in Michigan. Since then, catfishing has become a well-known dating term — meaning, pretending to be a completely different person online than you actually are in real life.
And while hopefully most of us aren’t using super sexy photos of someone else to mess with the minds of our online dating prospects, the temptation to lie about age, height, profession and other details to attract more matches is obviously there. If you’ve ever had an online date show up IRL looking years older or inches shorter than his or her profile let on, you already know how awkward kittenfishing can make that initial meeting. This could include photos with deceptive angles, lying about numbers age, height, etc.
Kittenfishing is ‘catfishing light. This also extends to the lifestyle you portray on your dating profile. While it’s understood you’re probably not posing with tigers on safari on the regular, passing off an expensive rental car as your own, pretending your rich buddy’s parent’s yacht is yours, or listing your occupation as something it’s not PSA: working in “finance” is not the same as being a bank teller that also counts here. Online dating is competitive, flaws are easy to hide in the virtual world and at the end of the day, we all want to be loved.
So bending the truth might seem like the best way to increase your chances of snagging that first date. It’ s no secret that online dating apps have changed the way we date. Why approach someone in person and risk rejection when you could safely swipe left and right from the comfort of your own home?
Lying about age is surest way to alienate a date
However, one thing that I notice puzzles me — it seems like no one bothers to list accurate information about themselves on their profile. Can this person even be trusted? What else is he lying to me about? Lastly, where do I draw the line? At what point does it stop being cute and start being a big deal? After all, here I am, meeting with total strangers from the Internet, and, like it or not, I have my personal safety to worry about.
The near-septuagenarian – who admittedly does look much younger than his years – told judges that his actual age damaged his dating.
When it comes to lying on dating profiles, the majority has spoken. Bending the truth can be a good idea in certain areas of your dating profile, but before you go off on a creative writing spree and invent The New You, remember this:. The goal is to actually meet someone, whether it’s your soulmate or the next Ms. Right Now.
And sooner rather than later, you’re going to have to meet her face to face. The last thing you want is to waste hours and hours of your time crafting a new online persona that comes crashing down like a flimsy pile of cards the minute you meet her face to face. Don’t tell big lies.
Why You Shouldn’t Lie About Your Age on Your Tinder Bio
Brooke Lewis. I recently met a guy online who I quickly discovered was 10 years older than his profile stated. I was so frustrated, thought about how this had happened to me more times than I can count throughout my online dating history and felt compelled to share some of my theories about online dating and ageism and how to handle it. After meeting many men online who have lowered their age by 10 to 12 years, I had to learn what this was about other than deception.
What does dishonesty look like in online dating, and does it work? “Everybody lies about their age or a lot of people do So I have to cheat.
Lying about age is a hot topic among people with online profiles. Have you ever seen an online profile with an age attached and wondered if the number really added up? Maybe you thought that the person you were viewing might have been living in a false reality when it came to the age that they said they were. Is it ever okay to trim a few years to your profile when seeking romance online?
More mature adults are turning online for dating and companionship. Age can be an important aspect when browsing profiles, although for many age is just a number when you feel young at heart. Some Stitch members recently discussed their thoughts about age on profiles with mixed opinions. Some online dating sites require members add their age to their profile.
Unfortunately, this can result with many people lying about their age this can happen by up to ten years!
The new rules for dating over 50
Not 28, not For me, I like to think that age-fibbing is in my genes. In fact, my own mother had me thinking she was 45 for at least five years of my childhood. No wonder my maths skills are questionable and I started bending the truth at such a young age. Like most teenagers, the first time I twisted the truth was at 13 when I realised adding a few years meant nightclub entry and a cheeky Bacardi Breezer or two.
The online dating strategy is characterized by using little white lies — like misrepresenting your height, age or interests — to hook a potential.
Only when she arrived, she turned out to be 55 and she looked every bit of it. Ben also met a woman whose dating profile billed her as a decade younger than she really was. Simon was 34 when he arranged to meet a woman who he believed was She seemed like a fairly decent person, but the age issue put me off, as I thought what else would she lie about? She tells Metro. Then when I went on Tinder for the first time, I saw that I came up as five years younger. Relationship coach Jo Hemmings says she understands why women tweak their ages on dating apps.